salad queen

okay i know it’s been a hot minute, my two friends who actually read this blog, but i feel compelled to share what is probably the best goddamn salad i’ve ever made. with no pictures. cos you’re just gonna have to trust me.

i used:

  • 1 bag of salad leaves
  • 1 block of tofeta
  • a few thinly-sliced rings of red onion
  • 12 olives
  • 16 grapes
  • about 15cm of cucumber
  • 1 avocado
  • 1 julienned bell pepper
  • fuckloads of halved cherry tomatoes
  • bulgur wheat
  • croutons
  • lemon juice
  • olive oil
  • salt
  • pepper
  • Magick™️

soz, nobody can top that. ever.

coming as soon as i can be bothered: my Rules for Salad.

veganism isn’t hard.

okay so i’m going to depart from my usual M.O. today (to the extent that i have an M.O. beyond shitty pictures and weird food obsessions), and be preachy for a minute. don’t like preachy vegans? sod off then.

so here goes: veganism isn’t hard, y’all. 

seriously. not that hard. not that hard to plan delicious and nutritious vegan meals. not really that hard to find decent vegan food on the go. and, seriously, not that hard to stay healthy on a vegan diet.

i shouldn’t even have to say that, but i feel i need to based on two different things. the first is the false media narrative drawn whenever a vegan child is found to be suffering from malnutrition. newsflash, you don’t need an IQ test to be vegan – stupid people are part of our movement too, and sometimes they have kids they don’t feed properly. for every malnourished vegan child i can show you 100 malnourished omni children. 

the vast majority of us – and by ‘us’ here i mean vegan parents – do our due diligence of basic research on how best to feed our children. ffs there is literally NO correlation.

the second thing is a bit more enraging to me personally, and that is that i have a few lovely friends now who have tried veganism, been active committed vegans – and then post a social media update where they show off some brunched-up corpse on a plate.

guys. NO. JUST NO.

i try not to judge people by their diet, as i have a lot more omni friends than vegan. but hell no, i cannot not get pissed off when someone who previously has advocated for the liberation of animals posts, without explanation, or with some half-arsed explanation about ‘free range’ whatever, a picture of a dead animal masquerading as ‘food’!

guys, let me reiterate: VEGANISM ISN’T HARD. ESPECIALLY when it’s approached as a central tenet of your morality. or at least it SHOULDN’T be hard.

of course there are exceptions. do you have hashimoto’s disease? you may find it difficult to be vegan. are you an inuit? you literally cannot afford to be vegan, and much as i hate it, go ahead and hunt your seal. are you on holiday in kazakhstan and cannot find a vegan meal to save your life? you do you.

however. if you are part of the 99% of people on this planet who don’t have a condition or live in an area which precludes subsisting on a plant-based diet, it is seriously not hard to be vegan. it’s actually cheaper to be vegan, even! and with a tiny amount of research and effort, you can thrive on a vegan diet.

there’s no place for animal products in my diet. why would there be, when i don’t think of them as food anymore? why would there be, when i consider animals to be nonhuman persons with the right to live their lives free of human exploitation? why would there be, when the food i cook is so goddamned delicious?

the only ‘complicated’ thing about a vegan diet is remembering to take a B12 supplement or eat fortified food, like yeast or soya milk. is that so hard to do, y’all? hint: it is not. 

seriously. it’s not hard to be vegan. it’s no hardship to be vegan. it’s actually a completely wonderful and positive thing to be vegan, and if you let it, veganism will change your life for the better. 

and on that note, i’m going to go shovel down some guacamole, because i finally found a supermarket that doesn’t ruin it with sour cream. (hint: it’s M&S.)