this is a bullshit-free zone


welcome to my messy, massively unhygienic kitchen.  i put an impressionist filter on my picture of it so it would look like an arty still life instead of just filthy.

i’ll be three years a vegan in may, along with my husband and two little vegans.  this is the part where i start extolling the virtues of organic gluten free kale smoothies and talking about how gwyneth paltrow changed my life.

just kidding!  fuck goop.  and fuck kale.  this is a Bullshit-Free Zone.

i really don’t have the time or the budget to indulge in fancy vegan bullshit.  does kala namak add a sulphuric note to your egg-like dish?  guess what!  so do onions.  i am not going to mill up some flax seeds and froth in water to make a fucking flax egg, because i can get my cupcakes to rise using baking powder and bicarbonate of soda, like normal human beings do.


this was our dinner tonight. i added a ‘starburst’ filter so it doesn’t look like a heap of shit on a plate. it was supposed to be a wellington-like thing, but i fucked up the filling.  and also i have no idea what differentiates a wellington from a giant tart.


here it is.  cool filter bruh!

my cooking philosophy is to think up a recipe, axe half the ingredients, and sub out normal stuff for fancy bullshit nobody ever buys because it’s expensive and stupid.  so that’s what i’m gonna be doing with this website.  i’ll either post my own recipes or link to decent recipes on other sites.  and maybe occasionally attempt a fancy recipe, take gross-looking photos, and laugh and laugh and laugh.

feel free to email suggestions and recipes.  together, we can pull veganism out of this raw organic gluten-free fruitarian quagmire in which it finds itself.

we can be just plain vegan.

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